As I was walking through a Southern mall on Sunday I saw one of those Christian bookstores that sell Bible's and bookmarks with cute little religious phrases. Of course it was closed on Sunday, which prevented me from entering the establishment and rolling my eyes as I perused the material while making a few "Yeah, right" and "I'd like to see them prove that," comments.
It was then I realized that if this place was closed on Sunday they must be doing a huge business. Then I realized that in order for this business to do well, thousands of people must be paying lots of money to further their faith in something that doesn't exist.
In fact religious propaganda is a billion dollar industry. People pay a large percentage of their annual incomes to show the love they feel for their imaginary friend. You know what; I developed an imaginary friend in third grade. Her name is Prudence and she graduated with honors from Columbia University. If you give me some money I will make sure Prudence gets it.
Should I set up a Pay Pal account to make donating convenient for you? To think what my psychiatrist used to refer to as, "a potentially devastating long term mentally instability" could turn into a money making endeavor! That's what America is all about!
I am of course being sarcastic, but I just hate to see sheep-like-people give their money away to figments of their brainwashed imaginations. I don't have a problem with buying a Bible or a daily affirmation calendar, which I can see being somewhat inspirational and perhaps motivational, but I do have a problem with families sacrificing happiness for the hope that when they die they will go to a "happy place."
Would you really rather have four closets full of religious paraphernalia or that boat you've dreamed about since you were twelve? I doubt it was your life long dream to collect all 15,000 editions of Chicken Soup for the Soul and one can only own so many Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith albums.
Just go ahead and buy the boat. Buy the boat along with the Bible and read the Bible on the boat. You could cast your fishing pole, read Ecclesiastes 4:3, water ski, read Ecclesiastes 4:4, apply sunscreen, read Ecclesiastes 4:5....
There's no reason you can't have both a normal life and a few religious knickknacks to make yourself feel better as well as impress your churchgoing friends.
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