Perfection Equals Eternal Submission

It's always good to seek a second opinion... unless you're in church.

Every Christian claims heaven is a perfect destination. "If you're lucky enough to make it through those pearly gates; you'll spend a blissful eternity with God," they say.

But how can it be perfect when He's the only arbiter of right and wrong?

What if you disagree with Him? I mean, if God tells you to shove your opinion that a few of His rules and regulations, as specified in the Heaven issued guidebook, are unfair, you just have to sit there and take it. I have a feeling a big section of the aforementioned manual relates to the practice of arguing with God, and uses phrases such as, "Please refrain from saying, 'I beg to differ,' or, 'In my opinion,' because in heaven your opinion is irrelevant, and even the desire to argue with God means you think you’re smarter than the Almighty, which you are obviously not."

Being in heaven has got to be like being assigned to the strictest teacher in school, yet I don't hear many children exclaim, "I got Mrs. Ratchet! She doesn't tolerate dissent, has a list of rules measuring a mile, and insists you bow in her presence! Score!"

In America, if you enter an overly religious institution led by a charismatic leader who demands you have faith in his nonsensical teachings and rules his flock with an iron fist, we label you as a "cult member" in need of psychiatric evaluation. That's why I don't understand why wanting to spend eternity in a place like that means you're a, "good Christian."

If there's one thing the past teaches us it's that one person having total control leads to destruction and mayhem.

There is a reason the word "dictator" has such a negative connotation.

Just look at all the issues facing our world about which everyone is certain they're correct...

How about gay marriage...

In California I am confident a large number of people swayed from the teachings of their church and voted in favor of gay marriage. These people feel strongly that homosexuals should be given the right to legally wed in every state.

When they enter perfect heaven, however, they better change their tune and show unwavering support for God and his strict anti-gay policy.

Acquiescing on every issue about which you're passionate just doesn't seem like perfection to me.

But what if you get to heaven and discover that humans have misinterpreted God's anti-gay policy and He's really pro-homosexual marriage?

Well, if the above scenario turns out to be true, every single Christian who went through life believing that a man having sexual relations with another man, "just ain't natural," must let go of his or her fervently held ideals.

Either way someone will have to admit they were off base, despite the fact that they adamantly believe in their ability to discern right from wrong.

Doesn't sound perfect to me, but I'm sure you Christians disagree, and you better take this opportunity to argue while you still have the chance.

My Wife Works in Mysterious Ways

"My wife is having an affair with the Dallas Cowboys."

"That's horrible; are you going to leave her?"

"No, she works in mysterious ways."

If the above conversation between two male friends seems odd, think about the fact that the, "He works in mysterious ways" excuse is used whenever the Christian God did something they deem ungodly.

That's basically how they justify each and every horrific atrocity committed in the Old Testament.

Obviously if we excused all modern day criminal behavior by declaring that the offender is working in ways we simply cannot comprehend, we would have a chaotic society.

You religious folks call it, "mysterious ways."

Folks in the legal profession call it, "insanity."

Since America is such a Christian nation I think we should change the legal jargon to match up with your beliefs.

"Your honor, my client is clearly not in his right mind and therefore pleads not guilty by reason of working in mysterious ways."

That's the reason I have such trouble with the notion of your God. In church, instead of frequently hearing the phrase, "He works in mysterious ways," shouldn't you hear the phrase, "Of course it makes sense, He's God."?

This is another instance of being told something is true at an early age and spending the rest of your life trying to make all the pieces fit.

During your childhood, had you been instructed that Charles Manson was some sort of deity, your days would be spent arguing that the brutal murders committed by the Manson family were either justified or unexplainably good.

After all, that's what members of the Manson family could have told each other, had any of them had reservations about killing...

"Should we really be doing this; stabbing the person before me seems wrong."

"I know, but Charlie said we have to, and he works in mysterious ways."

So if you're going to follow someone or something, why don't you follow someone or something whose actions don't need defending, instead of choosing to follow someone or something based on the advice of others and then declaring their every action to be, "Perfect."