Okay, let's say you're right.
Let's say the Bible is a completely truthful history book.
If that's the case then I am going to hell.
Am I depressed about the potential of an eternity spent in the deepest regions of the hoary netherworld?
On the contrary. And truth be told, if it were somehow proven that the Bible was accurate, I wouldn't change my beliefs.
But, "Heaven is perfect," you say.
Yeah, that's according to your religious teachers.
And what do religious teachers like to do most?
Teach religion.
The schedule for Heaven probably resembles the one listed below:
6:00 - Wake Up
6:30 - Breakfast Prayer
7:00 - Breakfast
7:15 - Morning Chapel (a three-hour look at Deuteronomy, Chapter 1: Verse 1)
12:15 - Lunch Prayer
12:30 - Lunch
12:45 - Afternoon Chapel (a two-and-a-half-hour recap of the Morning Chapel session: a three-hour look at Deuteronomy, Chapter 1: Verse 1, followed by a half-hour preview of Deuteronomy, Chapter 1: Verse 2)
3:45 - Speech by Moses (with introduction from Shadrach, Meshack and Abendigo)
5:00 - Five-Mile March
6:00 - Group Shower
6:30 - Dinner Prayer
7:00 - Dinner
7:15 - Evening Chapel (a three-hour look at Deuteronomy, Chapter 1: Verse 2)
10:15 - Silent Prayer
10:30 - Lights Out
I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like a perfect day to me. The group shower is the only thing that might potentially be fun, but in Heaven I have a feeling things regress back to pre-snake days where being naked around each other is in no way erotic.
But hell, that's got to be bad, right? Actually all anyone says about hell is that you're away from God.
I've been away from God all my life and it hasn't been all bad. In fact, my existence is actually pleasurable. So basically I wouldn't mind going to hell if it were like my current routine. Sure my boss is kind of a d*ck and I can't afford my dream home, but it is hell after all, it can't all be peaches and cream.
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