I Damn Thee Due to a Difference of Opinion!

The difference between decent atheists and decent Christians is minimal. Other than condemning homosexuals for their failure to needlessly suppress an inherent and harmless attraction, decent Christians typically don't harshly judge. Instead of protesting the selling of sin-juice outside their local liquor store, you will find them entering the establishment in hopes they'll discover their favorite brand of Hefeweizen has been drastically marked down.

Decent Christians attend church on Sunday morning, dine at a buffet on Sunday afternoon, come home, kick off their shoes, and then happily celebrate the fact that, as Lisa Simpson put it, "This is the longest period between now and the next time we have to go (to church) again!"

By their own admission, Christians commit sin after sin after sin. Nothing can stop them, actually. Because impure thoughts will inevitably arise, locking themselves in a vice-proof room and tightly closing their eyes won't even do the trick. Unlike atheists, however, Christians routinely beg for forgiveness after committing transgressions other decent people are far from sorry about.

But are Christians truly sorry? Are most pulling out their hair, strand by strand, because the guilt from tying one on the previous night consumes them? Of course not. As evidenced by the fact that their first action, after asking for forgiveness, is checking out next week's drink specials at their local watering hole, they're also not likely to limit their future libation intake to one per evening.

There are some sins for which Christians are truly sorry, just like we atheists often feel remorse for behaving badly (Contrary to the popular belief that we all have a, "damn the consequences: if it feels good, do it," attitude).

So, other than the fact that Christians often express regret for harmless sins they plan on committing in the future, decent atheists and decent Christians are a lot alike.

The reason I bring this up is because I find it humorous that the only thing keeping atheists from being admitted into heaven, according to Christians, is a simple difference of opinion.

Both groups read religious works, yet arrive at different conclusions. Our conclusion leads to an eternity of misery; yours leads to perfection.

I hope incorrectly interpreting words from the feathered pen of the Bard also doesn't lead to eternal damnation. I have real trouble with the poems of Christopher Marlowe, should I prepare for the worst!?

My point is that the one thing separating decent atheists from decent Christians has absolutely nothing to do with good vs. evil. Yet, if Christians are correct, we atheists are in for an afterworld of hurt.

If you divided atheists and Christians into two groups, no one could accurately contend, "Every member of the Christian group has acted nobly throughout their entire life. They've given the majority of their income to charity, have never harmed a fellow human being, and each risked their life in order to save at least one puppy that somehow grew even more adorable after being scratched behind the floppy ear by a Christian. Had no member of the atheist group been born: the murder rate would be zero, antivirus software would be completely unnecessary and, unable to find an audience perverse enough to enjoy her films, Jenna Jameson would have recently obtained her PhD in Clinical Psychology."

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