How many of you on either side of the political aisle truly believe something magical will happen if your candidate gets elected?
I think the country gets so caught up in Presidential elections because we assume a victory for our candidate means our lives will suddenly be transformed into some sort of fairy tale.
But regardless of who wins, come January 21st, 2009 you will have the same crappy job, be forced to pay the same exorbitant bills, drive the same ratty car, and be acquainted with the same group of ne'er-do-well friends.
If you're one of those unemployed people who don't enjoy working, neither Presidential candidate will somehow find you a job that "doesn't feel like work."
In other words – your life is not going to change.
You "believers" truly feel that everything but you control your life!
If you were hired by your current employer after January 20th, 2001 does that mean that George W. Bush got you the job? Or do you have the job because you applied for it?
Something tells me it's the latter.
Because I bet if Al Gore were elected in 2000 you'd still have that job. While had you not applied for it...
Maybe most of you know this, but neither Barack Obama nor John McCain will create a single job!
I'll put it another way: Unless they start a business using their own money while in the White House, a President will never create employment opportunities!
The only Presidential candidate that could influence me into thinking he could create jobs is John McCain, who could do so by promising to take some of his wife's 10-trillion-dollars and open up a little coffee shop outside the White House. He could call it "Café 1600" and hire 10 recent college graduates to run the place! That, above any of the current job creation plans, would get my attention.
His press conference would be simple... John McCain: I will create jobs as President.
Reporter: How? John McCain: I'll take Cindy's money, open a coffee house, gather a bunch of prospective employees and point to the ones I like while saying, "You're hired, You're hired, You're hired, etc."
And I'm not saying this in a partisan way either. If John Kerry would have promised to do the same with Teresa's money, I'd have fully supported his efforts.
This piece is not meant to be negative; I'm just trying to warn you that everything will remain exactly the same for you if your candidate is elected President in November. You'll be excited for about five minutes and then all of a sudden say to yourself, "I have to go to work tomorrow where my boss will tear me a new one if I am unable to foresee his every want and need, just as he has for the last eight years."
Then you'll get frustrated because everyone to whom you owe money will still want to get paid.
"But my candidate got elected, and he promised a brighter future for everyone with a salary similar to my own," you'll explain to the bill collector.
"But if you don't pay me, my future will fail to be bright," the bill collector will correctly respond.
I realize a lot of you are treating this election like a sporting event and, while you want your team to win because its members share a like worldview, realize no matter who takes office in 2009 your life will remain in a constant state of sameness.
And to take the sports analogy one step further: most of you who truly believe a victory by your candidate will mean great prosperity for you and your loved ones, while a victory by the other guy will result in poverty for all, are probably a lot like my cousin Richie, who swears a victory by the New York Jets once made him so happy that his sinus infection disappeared.
I sh*t you not.
So remember; it's not about a higher power guiding your every move or a god-like politician somehow making it easy for you to be successful; it's about you getting out there and making something of your life – because you are the only person (or being) looking out for you.
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