To my absolute delight, I recently discovered a website that argues atheism is evil. The site actually claims that failure to believe in a deity leads to obesity. Though I'm fairly certain this Christian-Conservative entity is not satirical, it's funnier than Charlie Sheen when he's not trying to be funny.
Most religious folks make the claim that atheists do bad things because we're atheists, while bad deeds done by religious folks are not related to their belief in a deity. Apparently we overeat, and sit down for long periods of time, simply because god is not inspiring us to put down our forks and stand up with the express purpose of eventually moving around rapidly.
"Very religious Americans make healthier choices than their moderately religious and nonreligious counterparts," the site contends.
Since they're speaking about "very" religious people, I actually agree with the above quote.
The "very" religious tend to get a lot of exercise swatting their children on the backside, which could be labeled a "healthy choice." As I mentioned in an early posting, an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church preacher challenged his adult congregation to start an exercise routine of their own. "If you're not bruising the child, you're not spanking the child enough," he said.
Since we atheists have no instruction manual encouraging us to leave marks upon our own flesh and blood, naturally we leave them physically unscathed. Instead of burning calories with each swat of our tot, we sit around getting fat watching them smile from ear-to-ear as they frolic and play.
Simply thinking about happy, un-bruised children makes me feel like I just ate a whole turkey. Who would have thunk humane punishments lead to portly parents?
On this same website, in a maneuver undoubtedly inspired by the Old Testament, a link is posted to a different site which contains photographs of several atheists. Please keep in mind that these non-religious men and women are not famous. Before clicking the link, everyone is instructed to pay close attention to the extra pounds the unbelievers carry.
Funny how a website arguing atheism is evil taunts everyday overweight people like schoolyard bullies taunt physically unimposing children the ruffians don't match up with intellectually. Even funnier, the site actually claims one thing has to do with the other.
In response to the horrific act of drawing attention to the excess girth on ordinary atheists, I will provide you with a link to the official site of a small Methodist Church in northwest Mississippi; specifically a page displaying a digital photograph of the fattest, most disgusting female treasurer you've ever laid eyes on. You may need to scamper to your local Best Buy to purchase a bigger monitor so every vile flap and fold will be visible. Seriously though, please keep a bucket near your desk to make sure there is a place to aim your lunch...
This lady so fat, when she goes to church she sits next to everybody.
This lady so fat, she was baptized at Sea World.
This lady so fat, when she sits around the church, she sits AROUND the church.
Wait a second, I actually won't provide such a link. I just remembered that I genuinely care about people with differing viewpoints and would feel rather bad about what I'd consider an immoral transgression, yet many Christians consider, "God's work."
1 comment:
Ok the sad thing to say is that I'm formerly baptist and this made me chuckle. If the people ever saw the church I used to attend, they'd probably think the whole lot was atheist.
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