Warning: Written Without Assistance from Published Author

I'm not sure how to write this piece and don't have time to run out and buy a book on how to draft a successful article.

Actually, none of my actions today have been based on advice from books, which probably means I've done everything wrong.

I don't care if you're a tiger mother, or allow your children to play fast and loose with the rules, my only request is that you not speak to any minor that emanated from your womb without assurance every word is recommended by an actual published author. Not a dinky blog-writer like me, rather a person that went to the immense trouble of sending out thousands of query letters to various literary agencies around the globe before eventually finding success.

I kid...

Does religion fill everyone with fear their own instincts should be dismissed? Do they say, "I don't get angry at the site of homosexuals, yet they're horrific sinners... If I'm wrong about that, what else must I be wrong about?"

If ancient scribes are trusted with what religious folks consider the most important aspect of their lives, I suppose it's not surprising they turn to modern authors to advise them on topics not covered in the Bible.

I constantly argue that a deity is not needed for us to know right from wrong; that hurting people is wrong and everything else is a personal choice. Sure there are some grey areas in life, such as, "If I walk past that beggar, will it motivate him to get a job? Or should I give him a quarter because I have one to spare?" But the fact that there are socialist Christians and staunch conservative Christians makes it clear that books don't clarify such dilemmas.

So we instinctively know what's right and what's wrong, and no book helps us definitively resolve the areas in-between...

When my stomach boisterously calls for sustenance, is it my inner-atheist that causes me to pick up the first fork around which I can wrap my hand and immediately dig into the meal that lies on my plate; as opposed to scanning the other eaters in an attempt to discern their choice of utensil? Is it my natural aversion to being scolded, for doing what I believe is correct, that prevents me from looking up to the heavens at social gatherings and desperately shouting, "Why did I fall asleep while reading Miss Manners!? Had I intellectually devoured two more chapters I would know for certain if the situation in which I currently find myself requires a curtsey or a kowtow!"

This is unlike most articles I've drafted and has little to do with religion, but I'm genuinely curious as to why reliance on written advice from strangers is so prevalent. When things go wrong, do we desire to throw our hands in the air and say, "Wasn't my idea - it's what I read I was supposed to do!" Is it our way of deflecting blame? Is it our way of never being labeled a failure?

I find our dependence on books sad for the simple reason I personally know decent people who, were it not for their religious backgrounds, would likely stand with me in opposing injustice.

Maybe I should start accepting advice from my published betters. Yes, that's just what I'll do. So won't you kindly pardon me so that I may discover if the current etiquette advisors deem it unmannerly of me to ask them to go screw themselves in the one place on their body the star at the center of the solar system rudely refuses to shine?

Best wishes,

Ms. Sarah Laimbeer