I recently began wondering if conservatives genuinely believe homosexuals can choose to whom they're attracted. I mean, there is no way even the staunchest Christian could think a fellow human being would declare, "I love women. I love their curves, their skin, the way their luscious booties wiggle and jiggle whilst they shake their 'groove thing' on the dance floor. At the beach, my skin has been burned many times while I gazed at perky women in skimpy bikinis. Despite this, I have intimate relations with men."
Exhaustive research, completed during American Idol commercials, reveals that most conservatives actually acknowledge the fact that homosexuals are attracted to their same-sex partners. However these Christians insist gay people should refrain from acting on their inherent desire because the act of love is a choice. In other words, while Rebecca may want to have sex with Gertrude, instead of committing the sinful act, Gert and Becky should spend a mellow evening repeatedly reading Bible verses which clearly inform them that, while the whipped cream currently atop the bare butt of Becky looks delicious, the protrusion of Gert's tongue would only be moral if Becky were a man and the two were joined in matrimony.
So basically, when conservatives speak about "converting homosexuals" they're talking about helping gays suppress their inherent attraction and perhaps assisting them in finding members of the opposite sex appealing.
But who's really in desperate need of conversion?
Homosexuals are naturally attracted to members of the same sex and therefore settle down with such a person, just as heterosexuals settle down with members of the opposite sex. Of course there are exceptions (the televangelist currently parading around your television) but most married Christian men didn't propose to the woman with whom they fell in love because the Bible contains zero verses telling them it's a sin. "I want to propose to my girlfriend and am reading the Bible to make sure it's okay. I just started on the Second Epistle of Paul to Timothy and so far my intentions are holy!"
In one way or another, most religious people persecute homosexuals based on words in a book science has largely disproved.
A frantic man runs into a heterosexual wedding ceremony carrying an ancient parable-filled book he claims to have been inspired by god. Words in said publication declare unequivocally that such a man/woman union is immoral. Inspired by the book, in which none of the attendees believe, the boisterous man attempts to convert the woman-in-white by screaming "You're a sinner!" while showing her pictures of Shakira sunbathing in her skivvies.
If we switch the frantic man with a Christian man, and the heterosexual couple with a homosexual couple, then people belonging to a certain religion all of a sudden go from saying, "That guy is totally nuts" to "That guy is doing the work of the Lord."
Christians hope the frantic man will eventually convert to their faith so he will stop irrationally speaking out against the wonderful institution of straight marriage because he read in an old book, Christians deem false, that such union is heresy and start rationally speaking out against the deplorable institution of gay marriage because he read in an old book, Christians deem true, that such union is heresy.
If we convert religious folks, however, then everyone who opposes loving couples from walking down the aisle will be considered kooky. And isn't the ideal conclusion one that leaves not a single person baselessly discriminating against his fellow man?
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