I Worship Monica from "Friends"

There has been much controversy lately about the depiction of gods and prophets for comedic purposes on television.

Comedy Central censored cartoon images of the Prophet Mohammad a few weeks ago because the people who drew him received what basically amounted to death threats.

That very same network recently announced they will consider airing a comedy show that depicts Jesus and god in less than flattering ways. Christian groups are naturally beside themselves with grief over this decision.

Of course followers of Islam and Christianity have the option of not watching any show that doesn't meet their requirements for viewing, but they would rather issue death threats and call press conferences.

Hating to be left out, I have decided to worship Monica from Friends and will now protest any network that airs re-runs of the once popular situation comedy because it depicts my god as being a once-overweight, maniacally controlling, neat-freak.

More on my new religion later...

We can't take away the freedom of people to air programming they deem likely profitable in order to appease people with whom they disagree.

Why should religious people be allowed to stifle liberty by preventing me from creating a program that targets my fellow atheists when religious people have the age-old option of not watching? And there are thousands of religious programs on television every Sunday morning. I save time by not watching and not protesting these shows, while religious folks waste time by watching and protesting the programs they oppose.

I have been accused of focusing my criticism primarily on Christianity. The reason I tend to do this is because I've spent my life in a country that claims to value the separation of church and state yet does not back up her words with action.

But Christians have been granted a grand opportunity to separate themselves, which they could easily do by releasing a statement that says, "While we obviously won't endorse the proposed comedy about Jesus moving to New York to escape the shadow of god, we do realize that America and the world cannot be run solely according to our beliefs and will therefore organize no protests, plan no boycotts, and write not a single nasty letter of opposition to the show."

To non-believers around the world, people who worship one of the traditional higher-powers are akin to me and my fellow devotees of the great and powerful Monica Geller. Such belief makes no sense. Such belief is irrational. Yet religious people want those who don't share their views to nevertheless alter their behavior so those who do believe in a higher-power can go through life without being offended or, worse yet, be forced to change the station despite not having the energy to get up and fetch the remote!

And you followers of the traditional deities feel justified in doing so only because you are large in number. With ice cream and a bottle of vodka respectively, I could probably only convince the four-year-old daughter of my friend and the homeless guy to whom I occasionally give a few dollars to join me in believing that Mrs. Chandler Bing is divine. You laugh at my demand Friends be removed from the airwaves, but I should be deprived freedom because there are millions of you?