Does God Think Exactly Like You?

When a troublesome verse from the Bible is brought up in conversation, I always find it amusing that the usual Christian defense revolves around how you can't take every word literally, and each individual must interpret God's word.

Basically what those Christians are saying is, "God thinks how I think."

If you ask a Christian how their God could banish a wonderful Jewish individual, who has given his life to helping others, to hell for being born into a household that taught him Judaism was the correct religion, they'll often respond, "Well, I believe that God will handle such cases appropriately and not make any good person suffer in the afterlife."

In other words, "That does seem harsh, and even though God says he'll be harsh to all non-believers, I choose to believe He'll reward those who led decent lives."

To that, I retort, "Then why doesn't He say as much!?"

If you are going to believe in God, then why don't you take Him at His word? It's because His word is sometimes difficult to stomach, isn't it? Yet you continue to believe!

Instead of picking a deity and then pretending he thinks exactly the way you do, why don't you just pick a deity that really does think like you!

Or, better yet, why don't you consider the fact that there may not be a god!

I know, you'd really miss your friends and they'd probably kick you out of the slow-pitch softball league.

But shouldn't you make a choice? Because unless you believe everything in the Bible, aren't you really disrespecting your god. You wouldn't approach an author/philosopher and say, "I really like a lot of what you say, but you didn't really mean what you wrote in chapter 5, did you?"

"Of course I did. I wouldn't have written the chapter had I not meant every word. Who writes things they don't mean!?"

"No, you were just testing us to make sure we still followed your teachings even though you sometimes say a bunch of crazy stuff, because you don't actually believe all that crazy stuff. You only believe the things I already believed before I read your book."

To most Christians, God is like a Barbie Doll. They place Him on a pedestal and dress him up in their favorite beliefs. "He'll be good to people who were kind on earth, regardless of their religion. And He'll also be good to people who were only bad because they had rough childhoods. After all, it's not fair that some people were born without the opportunity to blossom into decent human beings. But individuals who were born into good homes, yet still grow up to do bad things, will rot in hell! Like preppies who commit murder. Preppies who commit murder will burn for all of eternity. Unless those preppies only killed because they had a mental deficiency. In that case, God will take care of them. But if people are born rich, don't have any mental deficiencies, yet still go on to kill - then they will rot in hell! But hell won't be too terribly bad, because nobody's perfect."

While it would be pretty cool if a deity went through a similar thought process, it ain't the one in the Bible.

Protecting Children Isn't Akin to Coversheet Adding

Now that the Catholic Church is backed into a corner regarding their much publicized sexual abuse scandal, the Vatican has decided to take on the attitude of an employee who has fought vigorously against an order that says he or she must put a coversheet atop all future TPS Reports.

"Fine, if everyone is going to make such a big deal about it, I'll go ahead and put a coversheet on my TPS report. The company has managed just fine with coversheet-less TPS Reports for umpteen years, but whatever.

From what I've read, the Vatican is finally willing to clamp down on sexual abuse because... wait for it... the Pope has a goal of reviving the influence of the Catholic Church in Europe.

Does that mean they're not even a little interested in protecting children simply for the sake of protecting children?

I hate to break it to the revered church elders, but helping innocent children shouldn't be tedious. Helping innocent children shouldn't be viewed as busy work. "To help innocent children, or not to help innocent children," isn't a decision people should spend hours contemplating. In the Pope's notebook, we shouldn't find a list of pros and cons related to rescuing children from abuse. "Pro: fewer trembling altar boys. Con: extra paperwork."

Instinctively, upon hearing news that abuse has taken place, any decent human being should say, "I will make it my mission in life to aid those who have been victimized, punish the oppressors, and make certain said abuse never happens again." The response should not be, "Okay people, it's time for damage control. How do we make this all go away?"

People say that only through god can we know right from wrong. But we don't need a higher power instructing us that it's a grievous sin to harm other human beings in order to enhance our own selfish pleasure. Yet, because church is the number one priority in their life, Catholic leaders can't bring themselves to abide by the only law that all rational people know is vital to the stability of society.

I'm not even claiming that those looking to protect the Catholic Church are evil. Many are so warped by their duty that they've lost all perspective. The church is their drug. The church is more important than upholding the values they claim their god preaches.

Do they really think god, as they've made him out to be, would say, "In order to ensure there is a butt atop every square inch of pew cushion, cover up any vile action that occurs under your watch."?

Or do you think god would say, "I don't care if you have to sit on the sidewalk and preach to whoever walks by; just make sure you' re not harming anyone - especially those who seek me."

Why do I, an atheist, know exactly how your god would want you to handle certain situations; while those of you who have committed your lives to following his teachings haven't the foggiest idea!?

I have no problem with individuals who have chosen to believe in god. In fact; I'm so adamant you be happy with your decision that I will offer those with a penchant for covering up abuse, or looking the other way in spite of overwhelming evidence abuse has taken place, a great piece of advice for strengthening your relationship with god: take a step back from the church and just think about right versus wrong. Because, if he's as great as you claim; he is simply adamant you do everything in your power to protect the innocent.

A Guilt Free Life

One thing we can all be assured of is that everyone who is alive gets one life.

I am of the belief that the one life should be enjoyed.

Guilt hinders enjoyment.

Why people want to take what little time they have to feel guilty about doing things common sense says are okay to do is beyond me. Especially when the entity that gave you the urge to do something is the entity you believe is harshly judging you for doing whatever it is that they gave you the urge to do.

If you're not harming anyone, don't feel bad about an action.

Don't feel guilty about waking up with a hangover on Sunday morning. Sure, your body is a temple, but what good is having a temple if you can't throw a party every once in a while?

Don't feel guilty about watching an x-rated internet video clip because you were curious to see the only footage in existence of a little person fornicating with an animal on the endangered species list. And don't feel bad because you enjoyed it. If you were alone, that clip, as well as thousands containing equal depravity, wouldn't be on the internet. Hell, the internet may not even exist if it weren't for people like you enjoying clips like that.

Don't feel guilty for hating everyone. Everyone is an idiot. You're very concerned with doing your job well, but no one else seems to take pride in their work. That's why you get the wrong meal at restaurants. That's why your Maxim magazine didn't come this week. That's why you have to sit in the waiting room at the barbershop for over an hour. If the waiter, mailman, etc. did their job as well as you do your job, you would never be inconvenienced. If everyone did their job as well as you do your job, the world would be a happy place. So hate them all and feel good about it.

Isn't it enough to only feel guilty about the times in which you disappoint yourself? If you're trying to lose weight, you feel guilty enough for sneaking into the kitchen to devour your fourth glazed donut of the morning. You don't need extra guilt that results from doing things you otherwise wouldn't feel bad about having done, had the book your parents forced you to read not frowned up it.

You always hear Christians say that God gives them freewill. Then why doesn't He say, "I give you the right to decide for yourself what is right and what is wrong!"

After all, wouldn't that be a better indicator of someone's true nature? If someone says, "I decided that randomly beating up people is right and giving money to help mentally challenged children is wrong," then God would know He's dealing with a bad human being.

And don't tell me, "Without God telling us, nobody would know that savagely beating up another person is wrong!" Because I think the victim writhing around on the ground crying, "I'm in pain!" would be a dead giveaway. After all, most people have experienced pain and know that it's not a good thing - with the rare exception being people who suffer from that disease that causes them to never experience pain.

So, if no one is suffering as a result of your action, feel good about it. Or just stop reading the book that instructs you to feel guilty about doing things no person should feel guilty about doing. Of course, that's provided that you don't feel guilty about not reading the Bible, because if you feel guilty about not reading the Bible, it would make not reading the Bible a complete waist of your time.

Now I know why ministers have to go to seminary for so long, this religion stuff is confusing.