God is Watching Us… From a Distance?

One of the major things that bother me about the Bible is that it is filled with contradictions. Forgive everybody; No, don't forgive them, stone them to death, but forgive everybody else.

That's why people, who aren't religious professionals, don't know which of the multiple "truths" to believe.

Take Bette Midler for example. Bette Midler sings a lovely song that says God is watching us from as distance. But wait, isn't God always with you? How can God be watching you from a distance when He is always with you?

Is this one of those deals like when Christians say the seven days in which God created the Earth are actually "Bible Days," which are longer than the days we know today?

Basically you just Christians just say whatever justifies the validity of the Bible in your own mind and don't worry if it's a reasonable explanation or not. It's a fact that most Jewish and Christian people say that God is with them. "I scored a touchdown today because Jesus was assisting me break tackles," the star running back will claim.

"I'd like to thank God for this Academy Award, who was with me from the moment I read the script to the moment the director said 'that's a wrap,'" the Jewish entertainment superstar will announce to the world.

So it is definitely confusing when Bette Midler says God is watching us from a distance. How far away can He be if He's helping us break tackles on the football field? I'm confused; please enlighten me…

You can't enlighten me because there are too many contradictions. Nobody knows which contradiction to believe, which is exactly the reason Ms. Midler sang about how God is watching us from a distance. When you think about it from a Christian point of view, God is with Ms. Midler when she sings about Him watching her from a distance.

If you're right and there is a God, I have to think He gets pretty upset when she sings that song in concert. "What do you mean I'm watching you from a distance, I'm right here by your drummer."

Ms. Midler is not the only one who suffers from the contradiction problem.

Take the mealtime prayer said by many children: "God is great; God is good, let us thank Him for our food."

Which is He: Great or Good? Don't you think He gets a little upset at being calling "good" just because it rolls off the tongue in a manner that is pleasing to the ear when spoken so soon after the word "food."

But You Can't Prove God Doesn't Exist

"You can't prove God doesn't exist" is an argument we outspoken atheists have to deal with on a daily basis. As if that argument somehow validates the notion that there is a higher power.

You know what; I can't prove there isn't an invisible man standing over me judging my typing skills and sentence structure. Does that in any way mean it might be possible that my place has been invaded by men that I cannot see?

Maybe I should think twice before I walk around naked. Maybe I should shower while wearing my bathing suit and change clothes under the covers.

What other things could exist because we can't prove that they don't? Aliens? I can't prove no spooky space people come down when I'm asleep and do experiments on my brain.

Speaking of alien experiments; what would you say to someone who came up to you and said they'd been abducted by aliens? You'd say they're crazy, yet you couldn't prove it didn't happen.

The fact that Christianity, Judaism and Islam are so prevalent in America makes me wonder why we have mental institutions. Why is your imaginary friend so much more socially acceptable than the guy who thinks Gary Cooper comes to him in his dreams so they can talk about the state of cinema?

If we have to prove everything that doesn't exist, it is reasonable to think things from Big Foot to the Loch Ness Monster to unicorns exist? How can you use the fact that it is improvable that God doesn't exist while telling your child they are being irrational because they fear there's a monster in the closet? You can't prove there is no monster without opening the door to check, why do you ask them to believe!

Yes, it's difficult to prove an invisible entity doesn't exist. You got me. Touché. Zing! What a compelling argument you have devised! If I ever get into trouble, I just hope none of you are appointed my legal council.

Who Made all the Fun Stuff a Sin?

I love to get stoned on reefer. When I do I just sit in my room and smoke away. I don't hurt anyone and I don't offer it to children. It's great. Why won't you Christians join me? You can't... you say it's a sin. That's right; God made all the fun stuff a sin.

You people believe that there is a God, fine. But how could you unconditionally love a Being that made everything enjoyable bad? An even tougher question is: How could a Being that unconditionally loves you make everything enjoyable bad?

In high school the most fun thing to do is get drunk. Oh wait, that's wrong. You can't get drunk. And to make sure you don't drink, parents, teachers and cops are all out to stop you. But why does it have to be bad? If God truly loved you, He would have made sitting around with all your friends getting drunk an okay thing to do. After all, you're not hurting anyone, just like I don't hurt anyone when I get stoned.

And it's not just illegal things that God made bad. A lot of people would love to eat four or five hamburgers a day. We can't because it's bad for us. Who made it bad for you? God, that's who. He could have made hamburgers good for you. The more hamburgers you ate, the skinnier you would become and the lower your cholesterol would be. But no, he made celery sticks healthy and hamburgers bad. But remember, He loves you. Think about that the next time you eat a carrot stick slathered in non-fat reduced calorie ranch dressing that tastes like glue.

Who does eating hamburgers affect the most? Fat people. That's right, your choices are either that there is no God at all or there's a God that hates fat people.

Let's talk about sex. Sex is great fun. Sex with strangers or people you barely know is even more fun. Yet your "God" created about 20 diseases that come from having sex with people you don't know. Some, like herpes, you can never get rid of! Thanks a lot!

Drugs are similar. Drugs make you feel great. Yet lots of people overdose on drugs. Well, if God loved you, wouldn't He have made it impossible to overdose on drugs? Wouldn't He make it where no one could get enough drugs? No, everything that is good must either be stayed away from or taken in moderation.

A lot of you will say that it was your parents who wouldn't let you do bad stuff because they wanted you to succeed in life. Well yes, but if God wouldn't have made all the fun stuff bad, then your parents would have never had to tell you no.

What are you Searching for?

You always hear about people turning to religion because there is something missing in their lives. "I was searching for the meaning of my existence and I found God," is what people new to religion will say.

I just don't understand how a void in your life can possibly be filled with something that doesn't exist. Get a dog. A dog exists and when you take into account donations to the church it probably costs the same.

You could save yourself a lot of time and money by filling the void in your life with inspirational things you can see. Say a mountain or beautiful river. I promise if you went to the river on Sunday mornings it wouldn't send someone over to hit you up for a donation.

I would think the opposite would occur. I would think people who have too much going on in there lives would take up something that doesn't exist and people who don't have enough in their lives would take up something that does exist.

"I've got too much going on; I need to focus on things that aren't provable by science," or "I need something to fill the void in my life and I love fresh vegetables; why don't I plant a garden!"

Much like it explains that God does not exist, science tells us that voids cannot be filled with imaginary things. Try filling that empty spot in your living room with something that doesn't exist. Guess what happens? That's right; it looks exactly the same, which is exactly what your life is like after filling your void with religion.

Would you invite your friends over and ask, "What do you think of that empty space in front of the sofa? I replaced the coffee table with God! Isn't it fabulous?" Of course you wouldn't because people would think you are crazy. Yet it's even crazier filling a void in your life with God!

After all, your life is a little bit more meaningful than that empty spot next to the armoire.