When Do the Ten Commandments XP Arrive?

In biblical times, God had many ways to get his message across.

Not so much anymore.

Perhaps he's cut ties with earthlings and is devoting his attention to a newly developed planet in a galaxy far, far away. Sort of like when a sitcom producer leaves an establish hit like The Office to work on an up-and-coming program like How I Met Your Two Dads.

But don't you believers need god to tweak his rules a little bit?

It worries those of us who live our life in accordance with the norms of the society in which we reside that you religious folks are living by a set of principles written centuries ago.

I'm not going to send my children to a school that is still enforcing a code of conduct written before the Axis Powers were defeated. "So my child is required to alert school officials should they see a Japanese American student roaming the halls. Is there a specific number they can text with that information?"

We see how living by ancient rules impacts other societies and I for one have no interest in witnessing American girls stoned to death for fraternizing with members of the opposite sex.

And yes, a father living in America recently murdered his own daughters for being too "modern."

Because persons of all religions are following extremely old instructions, why not just follow the ones that are truly timeless until an update is provided by a trustworthy conduit to god?

I know some religions do an overall better job of conforming to modern times, but since there are extremists in all religions, everyone belonging to the big three should take the advice I humbly offer.

Do not commit murder is the perfect example of a timeless classic. You should definitely not commit murder. And it would be fantastic if you extremists could pay close attention to this one and stop killing people based on their religion or race.

So actually the anti-murdering instruction could use an update to read, "Do not murder anyone for any reason, whatsoever. Even if you read something else in your holy book that makes it seem like murdering someone is serving god, it's not."

Wow, you wouldn't think such a simple command would need revising.

Imagine the atrocities that could have been avoided if this update were provided a few hundred years ago.

Let's move on.

Do not commit adultery.

You should definitely not cheat on your spouse.

Wait a second.

When I say, "adultery" I don't include persons who married an individual they truly loved, but, despite the best efforts of both partners, could not make it work and later on in life found another. I mean, that, if married, you shouldn't have physically arousing contact with a person other than your spouse.

Okay, we need an update on this one as well because we want to make sure people don't get stuck in potentially destructive marriages that could negatively impact children.

I know a lot of religious people will say that you should either abide by the brutal and arcane laws written in your holy books or get it out of the religion, but I don't see these people ruthlessly slaying professional readers of tarot cards. (Look it up.)

So regardless of your religion, perhaps everyone should take it upon themselves to update the commandants to fit their own view of the world. While these updates sort of make the original rules irrelevant, it's important we're not living by outdated instructions.

After all, if the rules of the Old Testament were strictly followed, America would be a more oppressive country than Taliban-led Afghanistan. That's the reason our Founding Fathers were so insistent we separate church and state.

And if people of the same religion can read the same book and come to such drastically different conclusions, it's not vitally important that you stick with the rules by which you've attempted to abide your entire life.

When basic rules that ban murder and adultery need qualifiers, it's time you get an update so us non-believers can welcome people of all religions into our civilized world.

Religious people are fond of saying that it would be impossible to differentiate moral behavior from non-moral behavior had as sense of right and wrong not been instilled in each of us by a deity. But if that were the case, the most oppressive countries in the word would not be theocracies.

So perhaps don't ask for updates, because they may contain more brutality than the originals.

Instead, please vow to harm no one and don't judge your fellow man, as long as your fellow man is abiding by the first rule.

Now those are timeless classics.

Yes, I realize many people do a good job in self-updating the laws they follow, which is why church busses don't go through West Hollywood mowing down homosexuals Grand Theft Auto style. But just imagine how peaceful the entire world would be if you all took it a step further.